Nonviolent Communication "is a communication method proposed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, which focuses onReplace blame, criticism, and defense with care, understanding, and sincerityMake communication more connected and constructive.

The main content can be summarized as follows:Four steps+one consciousness：

1、 Core concept

• Language is not only about exchanging information, but also a bridge or barrier to relationships.

• What often causes conflicts is not the facts themselves, but the way we express and understand them.

• The goal is not to 'win the debate', but to 'establish understanding and empathy'.

2、 Four key steps (NVC four elements)

1. Observation

   • Only state objective facts without any judgments, labels, or speculations.

   • ❌ You are always late ✅ In the past three meetings, you arrived 15 minutes later than the agreed time

2. Feelings

   • Identify and express your true feelings, rather than mixing accusations against others.

   • ❌ You have disappointed me a lot ✅ I feel anxious and uneasy

3. Needs

   • Explain the unmet needs behind the feelings, rather than blaming the other person's personality.

   • ✅ I need to be punctual because it makes me feel that each other's time is respected

4. Requests

   • Propose specific and executable action requests, rather than vague demands or commands.

   • ❌ Don't be late in the future ✅ Can you leave 10 minutes earlier next time

3、 Two directions of communication

• Express yourselfUse the above four steps to make it easier for others to hear your feelings and needs.

• Listen to othersUse the same framework to understand the other person's observations, feelings, needs, and requests, rather than immediately refuting or defending them.

4、 Key Ability: Empathy

• Empathy is not about identifying with the other person, but about first understanding their feelings and needs.

• When listening, give less advice, repeat and confirm the other person's feelings, creating a sense of security of being understood.

5、 Common Misconceptions

• Treating 'NVC' as a technical trick while ignoring the sincerity and care behind it.

• I have learned the form of speech, but my heart is still criticizing or judging.

• Focus only on expression and ignore listening.